A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
