writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
