Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
