if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
