Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
