Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I accidentally had phone sex last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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