you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ttyl tear gas
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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