More tranny stories later!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
