yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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