i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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