Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
PANTIES FOUND
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