is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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