Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
