Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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