The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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