You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
