im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
