it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Buhtt sex?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize