I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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