Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
