Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
