The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
