we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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