I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My balls are so social today.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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