after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
