your parents love me but you hate me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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