I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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