it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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