Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
