If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize