I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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