So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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