"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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