Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
