Sponge bath it is.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
