After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
