My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
