Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
