I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
