He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
