We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
