Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
