You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
