Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
