mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
