OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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