Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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