"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
