no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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