She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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