Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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