Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
