do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
