Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
