Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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