so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
