OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
