Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
