Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
