I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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