Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
