Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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