I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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