I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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