Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
