i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Help. Why am I so naked?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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