Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize