look no pants
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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