He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
