Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
