I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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