She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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