i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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