we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
