i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need a beard to bite.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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