no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize