Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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