I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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