I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize