Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
false alarm, still single
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
