he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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