Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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