We need to rekindle our bromance
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
